July 26th, 2007
This whole process of moving to another state with people you don't know, to a new job that you don't know much about, under the notion that it will be fun, informative, and give you time to make decisions is very stressful. I think I knew it would be, but nevertheless, I wasn't prepared for it to take over my entire life with thought and worries. I haven't exactly been the most helpful around the house, and I know that I've been a stress to live with, but I've managed to make it okay in my head because, I mean, I'm taking on a major transition in my life and I don't think I know what I'm doing. Imagine if you will, a whole new side of the country, thousands of miles away (and hundreds of dollars) and all I'll have is a job, camping gear, a bike and a blowup bed (and obviously this computer, but if I was in a plane crash this is the first thing I would throw out the window). How could I not be stressed? I was watching TV with my brother the other day and someone on there said, “If you're not nervous about your passion, then you're not really passionate,” and I think they're right. I know I can handle this nervousness too, but it's taking a lot more out of me then I originally thought it would. Actually, I thought this was going to be a piece of cake. And maybe it would have been if I had gone straight from graduation to Reno, but now that I'm spending time thinking about it, pondering the changes in my life, wondering if I'm physically, mentally, and psychologically prepared for this, that's changing things quite a bit.
The sky is definitely looking a lot more blue though, in light of recent events: Mom and I have plane tickets bought to Sacramento, we have a rental car waiting for us there to drive to Reno, all 4 of the house applications are in to the rental company, and they are 98% positive that we can have the place. These are all great signs to me, and they have definitely made me feel better about all of this. I've already promised Nolan that I would keep a semi-detailed journal of my adventures throughout my strikes with the NCC (Nevada Conservation Corps) and also in my personal adventures throughout the city of Reno. I'm even thinking of purchasing a decent digital camera to take pictures. I think it would be a good purchase. Now I'm waiting to find out if I'll be able to use said camera while out on said strikes and then it would be a truly good purchase.
I'm in the midst of making a list of things to buy and take with me. I won't bore you with those kinds of details, but let's just say there is a lot more to think of then I thought there would be. Not to mention going through all of my stuff deciding what is worth even keeping at my parents house. And I have to keep reminding myself to STOP thinking about grad school.
My wrist is bothering me more then ever, even when I was playing the cello 5 hours a day. This is not a good sign. I've been to our family doctor who focused on orthopedics, which is a good sign, but it worries me that it isn't getting any better, even though I did what he asked, two Aleve, twice a day for two weeks. That's a lot of freakin' painkillers, and it barely made a dent. I can still move and use it, but it cracks more then normal, and gets really creaky. Is that going to affect my work in Reno? I think that's another stress.
I wasn't sure what I was going to write at first, I'm not even in Nevada yet, but there it is. So here I come Reno, whether I'm ready for you, or you're ready for me...
